Sighs and Hallelujahs Stories and thoughts about the adventures of life without arms

A Level Playing Field

Last week I read an article in Sojourners magazine by Rose Marie Berger titled "On the Seventh Day, God Played." (You can view the article here. Free registration is required.) Just by the title of the article you get a sense of her main points: that we don't rest and play enough; and that we need to incorporate play into our lives more if we want to imitate God.

Granted, I was on vacation when I read this -- a vacation that was filled with rest and play. But, the point remains pertinent to me tonight as I feel like writing a blog post is the final thing to check-off my to do list for the weekend. The concept that play is holy and necessary is freeing. You mean I don't always have to be productive?

Within the article Stuart Brown, a researcher on play, says there are seven properties that identify play:

1. is done for its own sake
2. is voluntary
3. has an inherent attraction
4. involves freedom from time
5. involves diminished self-consciousness
6. involves improvisational potential
7. involves the desire to keep doing it

No, doing the dishes or laundry is not play!

As Berger notes in her article, Christians often fail the worst at incorporating play into their lifestyles. "The 'Protestant work ethic'," she says, "has left us with a slight religious distaste for fun." So, some of us have that working against us.

But, I find that I often have another thing working against me as a man born without arms. The best I can describe the feeling is that I feel like I live life "working from a deficit." In other words, due to my disability I often feel like I need to put in more effort (or play less) in order to make up for what I lack physically. I type slower than some others, so I need to work extra hours to make up for that. I need your help to replace a light bulb in my condo, so I do all I can to help you in other ways to make up for it. You may think less of me due to my lack of arms, so I'll make sure my car, house or work space is clean in order to impress you. Sounds crazy, huh? When you feel less than those around you, you'll do interesting things to compensate for it.

The good news is that I've begun to recognize that within myself these past few years and I combat against it (yes, it's that violent of a fight) often. Here are a few ways I allow myself to rest and play, instead of doing more to make up for the perceived deficit of my disability:

- Being cognizant of what is being done as a "to do" versus what gives me energy and life. An example of this comes from my recent vacation to San Diego. On my final day there I had planned to go to Balboa Park. However, I'd stayed up late on the weekend nights and was worn out. So, play meant giving up the experience of Balboa Park in favor of a slower day of sleeping in, taking my time packing up and reading by the pool.

- Limiting the number of hours at the office, whenever possible. We're all busier than ever at work due to the down economy, but more and more I find myself choosing to play and rest instead of working over the weekends. Matter of fact, I brought this laptop home from the office with the intent to work over the weekend. Other than booking hotel reservations late last night, I've avoided work all together. It will be there when I get to the office tomorrow. I may need to work evenings this week to make up for it, but I rested this weekend and that fills my soul for the week ahead.

- Discovering hobbies. As a child I don't recall too many times of outright play. There were neighborhood games and watching sports, but so much of my memories are of homework, church activities, chores, etc. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized I didn't have any hobbies! So, I've begun playing by trying out different things. This blog and the process of telling my story is one. I took a wine class last year and this fall I'm enrolled in a cooking class. I'm learning to try different activities in order to see if they'll become hobbies.

I still don't play as well as I'd like to. The fact that scraping out three items for the list above was difficult should be adequate proof of that! But, I'm working on it. I mean, playing on it. It's the one area where we're all on a level playing field.