Sighs and Hallelujahs Stories and thoughts about the adventures of life without arms

A Mysterious Manger

In reflecting back on 2009, I am left with one word that has played a more significant role in my life than any other this year: mystery. Although the word applies to many facets of my life recently, it has been particularly true of my interpretation of God and our relationship.

Although I’ve spent the last several years asking questions about my birth and the “why”s that go with that, this is the first year that I can honestly say that I’ve had that conversation directly with God. And, it is the first time that I’ve presented some of that questioning in such an open, public manner. I’m glad I’ve engaged in these areas; yet, I can tell you that none of my questions have been answered -- or at least answered in a manner that I am currently satisfied with.

That’s the thing about God. His ways are extremely mysterious to me.

But, that’s not all bad. The thing I’ve come to realize about God is that I am engaged in a relationship with him – times of ups and downs, times that require work, times of contentment and times of extreme frustration. As is true with a solid relationship, though, I’m realizing it can bear these fluctuations in emotions.

I don’t need God to answer all my questions, just to be confident that he hears them and to know that there are times that he weeps alongside me.

Christmas brings us a fascinatingly mysterious story. Yet, it’s a story that I feel we’ve tried our best to take the mystery out of. Images from our nativity sets show a clean manger lined with fresh straw, Mary and Joseph with smiles on their faces and Jesus sleeping quietly.

Silent Night? Holy Night? I’m wondering if, in that moment, Mary and Joseph would have named the night as such.

Imagine the tumultuous travel that would be inherent for a woman nearing birth while riding on a donkey. The frustration of being denied access to an inn – on a night Mary would give birth, nonetheless. And, I can only imagine that Mary’s mouth was not only shouting blessings to heaven as she lay there birthing a child in a damp, stinky manger that had been used to house animals.

There are so many pieces to this story that do not make sense – so much so that you can only think that the facts are true, because no one would make up a story this crazy to introduce the Son of God!

Think about these few basic pieces of the narrative that make up the Christmas story:

- A virgin giving birth
- No room at the Inn in Joseph’s hometown of Bethlehem, leaving the birth of Jesus to be held in an empty stable
- Angels appearing to sheperds, telling them, "Do not be afraid"
- A new star in the sky lighting the way for the Wise Men to find Jesus
- Herod demanding that all males be killed at the time of Jesus’ birth

This is crazy, mysterious stuff! There’s no way around it. As much as you sing soft, quiet hymns, dim the lights and light candles in the room for a Christmas Eve service, I simply can’t get away from the absolute insanity of this story.

As a friend recently told me, though, God’s insanity is far better than man’s knowledge.

No, God does not make sense to me – but I’m not sure he was meant to. For centuries he has made himself known to humans in a way that few comprehend. So, why should I expect that to change for me?

God seems crazy. His ways appear insane. And, his methods are often mysterious.

That’s fine with me, though. To be honest, I’m not sure I’d like some of the answers that would be offered to in response to my questions anyway!