Sighs and Hallelujahs Stories and thoughts about the adventures of life without arms

Traveling Mercies

Well, that didn't take too long for me to fall off the blogging bandwagon! With life passing by so quickly, I can hardly believe that it's been two full weeks since my last post. Told you this would be an adventure for me! The reason for the delay has been an extremely hectic work schedule. One all-nighter, one with two hours of sleep and many short nights of rest give you an idea of the schedule I've been trying to keep. I've managed it somewhat successfully, if I do say so myself! After a full two days away from work (I think they call them "weekends"), I find my soul satisfied with the rest and ready for the upcoming week.

The delay in posting this past week is due to business travel to Atlanta to visit one of my clients, CARE. Leaving on Monday morning and returning on Thursday evening, the week was dominated by long flights and busy days of meetings with this great client. Yet, this trip has also spurred the topic of this post -- travel.

Yes, I recognize that travel is a something that most of us don't look forward to; especially when it involves packed airplanes, middle seats and hard beds. For those with families, add in being away from spouses and children and you've got a recipe for loneliness. Not sure how you folks do it. Kudos to you and your families that sacrifice time with you when you're away on business. I travel a fair amount for work, but not at the level of many.

My travels take me to Atlanta every few months and Chicago every year. I've also visited various locales such as Washington DC, New York City, Egypt and Ethiopia in the past few years for work. And, for the most part, I've handled these trip with grace and patience. Many looking from the outside wonder how I travel alone -- and I must admit there's a bit of a Superman mentality for me when it comes to travel. Every smile, encouraging comment and double-take inflates my ego. Yes, it's a proud achievement even in my mind (not saying that's a good thing).

However, I've come to recognize in the past few years that travel is more than just a minor annoyance for me. As you'll see in the following paragraphs, there are unique challenges for a man without arms to navigate our modern transportation system, businesses and hotels. Travel poses its fair share of sighs and hallelujahs.

One hallelujah is travel in general (even for business); it is simply something that I have a passion for. I enjoy visiting new places and being encountered by new faces. It's a thrilling thing to get to travel and I am blessed in getting to leave the office frequently. This year I will reach my 10-year anniversary at Merkle and will be receiving a four-week paid sabbatical; which I plan to enjoy by spending a few weeks in Italy & France. What a glorious prospect that is! But, God and I also have a running argument around this passion he has given me. Just as with my life-long passion for playing sports like basketball, hockey and football, I am confounded as to why he has granted the passion to travel to a guy that finds it so difficult to fulfill these passions.

Most of you have little knowledge that I require a special dressing device in order to use the restroom. Outside of the permanent adaptions that I have at home and at work, if I want to use the restroom anywhere else I am required to take this fairly heavy and bulky clamp with me.

You can imagine that this presents a unique challenge to get through the TSA screening at the airport! Believe me, I recognize that WTF?!? look on the screener's face as it rolls through the x-ray; and to explain to an able-bodied person what you need it for can be a chore (only once has TSA threatened to confiscate it). This dressing device works well in handicap-accessible restrooms (attaching to a railing), but I have yet to figure out how to get it to attach to anything of use within the airplane lavatories. This means that I try to limit my liquid intake ahead of long flights, as I'm unable to use the restroom on-board. Add that to limited seat space on a flight for me (as it is for everyone) to function by using my legs and flying is a pretty tedious task for me. This may be the biggest sigh of travel for me.

In this process of handling airport security and flights, I also encounter the best and worst in humanity (as well as the bizarre!). Whether it's a helping hand and a smile from a TSA agent, an attentive flight attendant that does everything possible to make flying easier for me, or conversation with a curious passenger, more and more I'm recognizing the glory that God has placed in humanity. However, I deal with my fair share of assholes and uncomfortable individuals too. Very few folks are intentionally rude, but there are certainly some I encounter that would prefer that their world not be tainted by disabled passengers. Less harmless are those who just don't know how to react, like the old woman next to me a few years ago that refused to believe I could handle my own food or drink and practically forced the crackers and water down my throat. Just this past trip, I heard a passenger the row over and behind me blurt out, "oh, shit!" as I reached into my bag to grab a piece of gum. These types of comments are funny at times, but they do get old admittedly.

Finally, luggage presents a hurdle for me. It's one that I've overcome by carrying an over-the-shoulder garment bag, but that solution is a bit tricky and can lead to a pinched nerve in my neck if I pack too heavily. Surely, a pull-behind suitcase on wheels would be preferable, but that it not currently an option I've figured out how to make work for my situation. (It did, however, lead to a fun awkward moment with the US Airways guy when you check your bag an he asks you if you are "hands-free". Failing to recognize at the time that it was likely a classification for a type of passenger, I responded, "Yes, I was born without arms." The horrified look on his face told me that wasn't really what he meant to ask!)

This trip, specifically, presented additional sighs and hallelujahs:

Hallelujah - fantastic client meetings!
Sigh - the cockroach in my stall in the CARE restroom as I was barefoot.
Hallelujah - a great evening of great food, wine and conversation with my friend and colleague Jon.
Sigh - the homeless guy we encountered on the way back to the hotel who singled me out for commentary as he noticed that I didn't have any arms.
Hallelujah - the client's reaction to the banner hung outside their offices (see merklelovesCARE.org)
Hallelujah - perfect weather!

This is far from an exhaustive list of the good and the bad of travel for me -- and it was never intended to be. Instead, I want to offer you all a glimpse into my world; particularly as it comes to traveling. That is part of the intent of this blog, to let people into my story. Into the good and the bad.

I don't share all of this to make you feel sorry for me. If you are feeling bad for me right now, then you failed to recognize the high points (hallelujahs) that I noted. (Go back and read those again.) I share with you as a fellow pilgrim that is journeying though through this life that God has laid out for us. Granted, it's a life that I am thoroughly frustrated with and confused by at times. But, it's also a life full of many blessings and exciting times (and a belly laugh every so often!).

Thank you for walking beside me, my friend. I appreciate the company.