Sighs and Hallelujahs Stories and thoughts about the adventures of life without arms

A Weekend of Lessons

This past Friday I made my way from the wet side of the state, over the mountains and to dry and windy Kennewick. Tomorrow marks my grandfather’s 80th birthday, while my dad’s 60th is today. Happy birthday to two great men!

It’s been great to be back here for a family reunion of sorts and to enjoy family from up and down the West coast. This past Saturday we gathered to honor my grandfather’s 80th birthday with a surprise party. He was totally shocked, as the setup had been that he was attending a surprise party for my dad! We had fun, told stories and laughed together – it was a day of hallelujahs.

But, more importantly, I was impacted by several things this weekend and here are the main lessons I’ve learned over these past few days:

- 80 years is a long time, but longevity is not the measurement of a man. My grandfather was an adventurer, a successful business man and a man who has built a beautiful home and maintains a meticulous yard and garden. But, those things do not define Bob Perry. It was clear that it is the bonds of family and friends that mark this selfless man’s story. So many people told of his efforts to help them in times of need – mowing lawns, roofing houses, helping with car repairs.

For me, it was his endless hours spent with me after leg-lengthening surgeries through tumultuous teenage years. Not only was he there, he cleaned pins in my legs, made me do physical therapy exercises and took trips to doctor appointments in Seattle with my mom and I. To be aware of needs around you and selfless enough to help is the true measure of life.

- All of us need to be surprised once in a while. Not too many of us thought we’d pull it of, but my grandfather showed up expecting a party for my dad’s 60th. He had no idea we’d pulled the old switcheroo on him. The look on his face as he came through the door was priceless!

I tend to anticipate everything as to not be caught off guard and it runs in the family. As my mom and I arrived ahead of the party she said, “I sure hope he shows a little excitement or emotion when he arrives.” But, then she added, “I don’t show that often, so we’ll see if he does.” The moments of surprise and spontaneity are the most memorable to me and this was a great reminder of my need to be surprised and caught off guard.

- The bonds of family can make you laugh harder than you have in months. The grandkids on this side of the family all got together for drinks later in the evening and the stories and jokes that were told were priceless. Even though we may not all be together that often, the laughter flowed and we had a tremendous time!

- ALWAYS show up for an important family gathering. If you don’t, you may end up being the center of attention for the wrong reasons. Looking good, Uncle Ron!

- I took a couple days of work in order to extend my time with family. My brother, sister-in-law and their kids are also staying at my parents’ house this weekend and the kids’ moments of love, disappointment, joy and play are amazing things to witness. My niece and nephew continue to show me what it truly means to be alive – something many of us adults forgot how to do years ago. I hope to take a little of their passion back to Seattle with me today!

- Getting work done with so many family members is difficult, even more so without internet access. That’s the reason for this delayed post. And, it will be the reason that I return to work tomorrow having not completed a single task over the long weekend. But, as I learned from Grandpa this week, people won’t remember me for completing the org chart. Instead, hopefully it will be a weekend remembered for connection and relationship.

- Leaving doesn’t gets easier with time. Saying good-bye to family members today was as hard as ever, especially when my darling niece and nephew are involved. It was a bit hard seeing through the tears for the first mile or two.

- The sunsets is eastern Washington are breath-taking.