Sighs and Hallelujahs Stories and thoughts about the adventures of life without arms

I commit

The weather has dramatically changed in Seattle these past few days, with clouds, rain, wind and thunderstorms rolling through the area. I'm sad to see the sun and warmer weather go, but I'm excited for a new season. It's football season! A season of limited daylight and turbulent weather. A slower season for me personally, without a grad school class until Spring quarter. A time for me to read, take a cooking class, commune with friends and to wrestle with God.

This past month and a half has been a busy and stressful time for me. And, you've likely noticed that my posts have been sparse. There are certainly seasons in life and this is one that I'm glad to be done with.

This changing season opens up new opportunities and challenges for me. Here are a couple I want you to know about so that we can continue on this journey together:

1. I commit to write at least one blog post per week. Hopefully it will be more frequent than that, but there will be one per week at a minimum. This is a challenge that my friend and colleague, Jeff Brooks, gave me a several days ago as we discussed the discipline of writing and story-telling -- and I think it's a wise step for me to take.

I'm really enjoying writing this blog and admittedly, through conversations with you all, I'm starting to have dreams and thoughts about how my story might have a bigger impact on others. Whether a vocation or not, I'm seeing how God works through my words as I share my story. Writing more and telling my story is an intimidating prospect for sure; but creating one post per week is a way for me to "steer my elephant" by taking small, actionable steps every week. At the end of one year I'll have written 52 posts -- surely enough words and thoughts to use as a skeleton to a memoir or some form of a book.

2. Additionally, I commit to God to wrestle with Him more. If there is one thing that is exceptionally clear to me these past few months it is that I've failed to fully engage in the emotions and frustrations that apprehend me daily as a man born without arms. Wes Stafford, the President & CEO of Compassion International, spoke at the Willow Creek Leadership Conference last month and his topic was leading through the pain of your past. He told a very disturbing and moving story of his childhood as a missionary kid in Africa and how that exceptional pain has compelled him to commit his life to helping children. "No one cares what you know until they know why you care," he said. Well, the reason I care about the issues of disability (that I've begun to explore here) is that God created me with a body that makes my life difficult at times. And, in that alone, there are many questions.

Guaranteed, some of that wrestling with God will spill out into this blog. There are areas of my life that are very sensitive and those will remain between Him and I for now. But, I want this space to serve as a realistic and honest place. I could easily create an entire blog that radiated with hope and that literally glowed with optimism. People love that stuff and, honestly, it's a simple message that the church eats up! But, that's not my life -- and I doubt it's your reality, either. Because of that, I must wrestle with God as Jacob did. Welcome to ringside!

Finally, Sunday evening will be my deadline for the weekly post. So check back every Monday and expect to see something new. I hope you'll continue to interact with what I explore here, as that's the part I enjoy the most. And, feel free to wrestle through life's issues and struggles with me.

The season is changing to Fall -- and that's where simple beliefs die and blow away in preparation for a future season of growth and possibility. Let the rains come and the winds blow.